Sometimes this category involves the break up of a relationship, or the loss of an identity or a role. But most often it deals with the death of someone close. Here the primary emotion is always grief. You can often omit testing for the other emotions – fear, anger, pain, or shame.

Monica lost her only child shortly after he was born. She was so distraught she could barely go to the funeral. She avoided the topic in therapy until she muscle tested weak in this category, and her system took us back to age twenty-four when her baby had died.

She wrote a goodbye letter to express the feelings she had locked inside. She cried the tears she had never shed. Since her child’s death, muscle testing indicated, she felt like a failure as a mother and a wife.

After we did the clearing, “re-decisioning” her younger self, she sighed deeply and turned around with a tear-streaked face. On “Think about the death of your son,” she tested strong, indicating that she was in a better place.

She then again tested strong for the whole category, suggesting that there was no other grief and loss that merited our attention. Support activity was to share about this with her husband.

Later she told me, “I don’t have dreams about my lost baby anymore. I had never been able to go to his grave. But yesterday I went and put a wreath there. I never told you this – but after losing him, I didn’t want to have any more children. But now I feel that I could have another son.”